Carkey Malarkey (Digital Deluxe)

by Cark

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1.
Can We Rock? 04:17
Oi, Oi Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for Cark? Started this band in the salad days Now we are pushing middle age Screaming babies, creaking knees Bill collectors that would like some more please It makes you want to scream and shout Just what rock should be about But we keep wondering Can we rock Can we roll Now that we are so old Can we rock anymore Are you free next week to play? Or will it take six months to find a day? Now a sponge for angst instead of a spitfire Have to play slow songs so we don’t get tired It makes you want to scream and shout Just what rock should be about But we keep wondering Can we rock Can we roll Now that we are so old Can we rock anymore Supposed to explode, not decay Burn out not fade away Everyone tells us rock is a summer’s day But we’re still underground Our hearts still bleed sound So let’s bring that chorus back around With no more wondering Can we rock Can we roll Now that we are so old Can we rock?
2.
You probably Masturbate in the mirror So you can Jerk off to yourself all day long You probably Masturbate in the mirror Jerk off to yourself all day long Prolong the schlong wrong, and strong pong that dong It be like... One and two and three and four Ooh baby ooh baby ohh baby, more Narcissistic lullaby So into yourself, my oh my You probably Masturbate in the mirror So you can Jerk off to yourself all day long You probably Masturbate in the mirror Jerk off to yourself all day long How many times? ...while I’m singing this song One and two and three and four Ooh baby ooh baby gimme, more Narcissistic lullaby So into yourself, my oh my
3.
I can dodge you in the streets I can dodge you online Make you take a number Get back into the line I can straight up disappear Without an adios Hate to break it to you honey But my ghost is the most Once I’m out the door You ain’t gonna see me again So if you want more You best start talking I can erase you from my life Make the world forget your name Just a little sleight of hand In this emotional shell game You will disappear silently Instead of bellicose Hate to break it to you honey But my ghost is the most Once I’m out the door You ain’t gonna see me again So if you want more The clock is ticking
4.
Tacotronic 02:20
Tacotronic I’m tacotronic baby I’m tacotronic Powered by tacos yes I am Powered by tacos cause I’m a modern man Powered by tacos look at me go Tacotronic
5.
I try to write a song that’ll make you move your hips But instead I get bogged down in existential shit Oh yeah, oh yeah I try and make a joke to put a smile on your lips But I end up navel gazing like a whiny bitch Oh yeah, oh yeah All my friends are at a bbq I’m over in the corner don’t know what to do Why can’t I ever just let myself have fun I want to run around in circles Why am I so screwed up I want to make out with girls Why am I so screwed up I want to drink beer and hurl Why am I so screwed up I’d rather sing about unstoppable armies of Radioactive squirrels Try and tell a story with an absurd twist End up coming off a narcissist Oh yeah, oh yeah Try to have a convo with some new people End up tripping over syllables Oh yeah, oh yeah All my friends are on the dance floor doing the twist While I’m busy scaring off another therapist Why can’t I just let myself have fun I want to run around in circles Why am I so screwed up I want to make out with girls Why am I so screwed up I want to drink beer and hurl Why am I so screwed up I’d rather sing about unstoppable armies of Radioactive squirrels Weirdo, not emo, is what I’m shooting for So why am I facedown on the floor Goofy shit, gimme goofy goofy shit Enough with the personal apocalypse Why can’t I let myself have fun I want to run around in circles Why am I so screwed up I want to make out with girls Why am I so screwed up I want to drink beer and hurl Why am I so screwed up I’d rather sing about unstoppable armies of Radioactive squirrels
6.
7.
Kneadcholuv 02:07
Ooh-ooh, baby-doll I’ll get down on my knees and crawl Ooh-ooh, honey-pie I don’t need no reason why Ooh-ooh, sugar-bear Don’t you leave me don’t you dare Ooh-ooh, baby-doll I’ll get down on my knees and crawl I needcholuv babe I needcholuv babe I need it plea-ee-ee-ee-eaaaaaase…. Ooh-ooh, baby-doll I’ll get down on my knees and crawl Ooh-ooh, honey-pie I don’t need no reason why Ooh-ooh, sugar-bear Don’t you leave me don’t you dare Ooh-ooh, baby-doll I’ll get down on my knees and crawl I needcholuv babe I needcholuv babe I need it plea-ee-ee-ee-eaaaaaase….
8.
It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like ppph, and waaa, and ooh, and meow It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like lalalalalalalalala yow! It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like fart fart fart fart fart fart ka-plow It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like wow wow wocka wow wow! Your mouth is a hole in your head That can make cool sounds So if you hear a sound in your head Then open your mouth and let it come out And go.... (Noises in rhythm) Cause sound is fun for everyone and your mouth is how You get the job done It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like ppph, and waaa, and ooh, and meow It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like lalalalalalalalala yow! It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like fart fart fart fart fart fart ka-plow It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like wow wow wocka wow wow! Your mouth is a hole in your head That can make cool sounds So if you hear a sound in your head Then open your mouth and let it come out It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like ppph, and waaa, and ooh, and meow It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like lalalalalalalalala yow! It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like fart fart fart fart fart fart ka-plow It’s fun to make noises with your mouth Like wow wow wocka wow wow! Cause sound is fun for everyone and your mouth is how You get the job done
9.
Tokyo thunder Tokyo thunder Tokyo thunder And he’s back in the saddle again When the Tokyo thunder met the Oregon mouth He said I got some jams that we gotta kick out Don’t need no one else, they’ll just slow us down We’re gonna rock hard and we’re gonna rock now.
10.
Kaiju Mama 02:21
Some people like to rock Some people like to roll But when I hit the stage I do Godzilla’s mating call Ah baby Come out the ocean and play Oh Kaiju mama Wash this town away Some people like to sing Some people like to shout But when I rock and I roll I like let the demons/Dinos/kaijus out Ah baby Come out the ocean and play Oh Kaiju mama Wash this town away Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaaaaaa! Some monsters like to ball Some monsters like to mash But when I hit the stage I wanna stomp and smash Ah baby Come out the ocean and play Oh Kaiju mama Wash this town away
11.
My teeth feel alone in the middle of a crowd My tongue fills the space just by talking loud My pallet ain’t cleft, just bereft Shove some pie in my hole cause my mouth’s got no one left My throat has a black hole inside Neither of my cheeks can cross the divide I just had lunch, and I ate a bunch Still my mouth is lonely, give it Hawaiian Punch Kuchi Sabishii Feed me feed me feed me Kuchi Sabishii My mouth is lonely for some grub So give it some love My gums recede from a lack of love My tonsils are waiting to be got rid of My lips have each other, but they long for another Won’t you give them some fresh new flavor to discover My esophagus is headed down in the dumps My tongue can’t feel nothing without some taste buds My bridge lost its crown, now it’s always feeling down Won’t you take it on a couples cruise to flavor town Kuchi Sabishii Feed me feed me feed me Kuchi Sabishii My mouth is lonely for some grub So give it some love I ain’t hungry but my mouth is lonely Looking for a pie to be it’s one and only Load up on my feelings at the buffet I ain’t hungry but my mouth is lonely Spent one too many nights without any baloney And my mouth deserves better today Kuchi Sabishii Feed me feed me feed me Kuchi Sabishii My mouth is lonely for some grub So give it some love
12.
Cark is on the road again Rocking hard and making friends After the show But no matter how many fans We might meet to shake their hands It’s just for show We might play for thousands Or an audience of four Even if our heroes came walking through the door There’s still just one person that we’re doing this for We rock it for the sound guy Jaded and bored, they’ve heard it all before Every night He puts up with the bands bullshit, and the audience suggestions on the mix Every night That’s why Cark ignores the audience Cark ignores the crowd Cark just wants to please the man Who makes sure that we are fucking loud Because his approval is the rarest around We rock it for the sound guy We rock it for the sound guy It ain’t just guys that give us all the feels Sound girls do the same and they can do it backwards in heels That’s why we rock it for the sound girl We rock it for the sound girl We rock it for the sound girl Unsung hero of rock and roll Your tone is warm, your mix is gold Without you no one could hear us sing... That poor fuck Who hears/suffers through so much suck Night after night after night Give him a high five! (Riffs galore) Cark might play a stadium Cark could play the moon Cark could play at your mom’s house Or in an empty room But it means nothing without a balanced EQ, so... Mr. sound guy, this one’s for you Now please Turn up the bass.
13.
I don’t know what you’ve been told I stopped listening oh so long ago Those stories, they’re always bold Like balls of snow watch them roll, and see them grow I don’t know what’s been said Listening only makes me see red Those rumors thought long dead They rattle round inside your head, inside your head All I know is that you see me differently Than you did yesterday I can assure you I’m the same person No matter what people say
14.
Started this band in the salad days Now we are pushing middle age Screaming babies, creaking knees Bill collectors that would like some more please It makes you want to scream and shout Just what rock should be about But we keep wondering Can we rock Can we roll Now that we are so old Can we rock anymore Are you free next week to play? Or will it take six months to find a day? Now a sponge for angst instead of a spitfire Have to play slow songs so we don’t get tired It makes you want to scream and shout Just what rock should be about But we keep wondering Can we rock Can we roll Now that we are so old Can we rock anymore Supposed to explode, not decay Burn out not fade away Everyone tells us rock is a summer’s day But we’re still underground Our hearts still bleed sound So let’s bring that chorus back around With no more wondering Can we rock Can we roll Now that we are so old Can we rock?

about

CARK’S COLOSSAL COVID COLLAB CREATES CRACKERJACK CHAOS

When confusion rock duo Cark formed in Oregon in 2004, it’s songwriting process was somewhat non-existent.

“Dustin would say something odd, like, ‘we should have a song called Soggy Nachos,’” says guitarist and singer, Josh Gross, “And I’d say, ‘okay,’ and then we’d play it. Whatever came out first was the song.”

While the material this creative process generated made for an exciting debut record (2006’s Superhellamegaepic), unsurprisingly, it didn’t translate well to remote collaboration after drummer Dustin Wasserman moved abroad.

“We really needed to be in the same room to play off each other properly,” says Gross.

And so they didn’t play much at all for nearly a decade.

But when Covid-19 came along, Cark, like so many others, found itself stuck at home and bored, and with no more excuses not to make an album—even if it meant having to actually write songs.

The result is Carkey Malarkey, a 13-song collection that the band spent the previously inconceivable amount of time of over a year on, and which will be released on January 21, 2022.

The songs include previously-unrecorded Cark tunes like “Shark-Wrangling Band” (a cowboy-themed biography of a rubber shark named Deepthroat which the band had improvised live on the radio in 2006), and a new take on what was originally their swan song “Can You Rock in Singapore?” about the unknowns of moving abroad, updated to instead address Cark's eminent midlife crisis.

Other tunes were penned from a shared list of title and theme ideas in a modified version of their improv process.

“I’d take an idea Dustin had from a Google Doc, record a simple guitar demo as a voice memo on my phone, and then send it to him,” says Gross. “Then he’d cut it up and add some things, then send it back, and I’d do the same, and then we’d repeat that process until it was a finished song.”

That produced pithy, punchy garage-rock numbers like “My Ghost is the Most,” “Tokyo Thunder,” and “Kaiju Mama.”

But since the recording process was entirely virtual—recorded directly to home computers using closet-sized electronic drums to create as little neighbor-angering live sound as possible—Cark was able to move beyond its guitar and drums format to include synthesizers and layered backup vocals for songs like “Radioactive Squirrels,” “Kuchi Sabishii,” and “What People Say,” that weren’t possible with its previous live writing and recording process.

Cark even dared a foray into power-balladry with “Rock it for the Sound Guy,” a sprawling ode to the unsung heroes of open mic nights stuck behind the mixing board.

Thanks to a process of file-sharing and video-chats between Oregon and Tokyo that weren’t technically possible in the era of MySpace pages when recording Superhellamegaepic, Carkey Malarkey was completed without the band ever even being on the same continent, let alone in the same room.

“Calling it an evolution seems like an understatement,” says Gross. “Recording Carkey Malarkey” was a different animal altogether.”

“It took me sixteen years to come to terms with not playing live drums,” says Wasserman. “It felt like I had to fully reprogram my brain to accept digital blasphemy.”

And yet, despite a flipped creative process, the album remains entirely Cark, full of the same playfulness, wild energy, and off-kilter sensibilities that drove the band’s early work. The songs are equally at home with painfully odd lyrical sincerity like “Radioactive Squirrels” lamentation of “why am I so screwed up?”, as they are with the shredding rock guitar of “Tacotronic,” and the blowing of fart-noises in place of an instrumental solo in the song, “Cark for Kids.” It is music that could never thrive within the context of another group, but somehow makes perfect sense blasting forth from Cark.

“What’s most important is that we’re amusing ourselves,” says Gross. “If we’re having enough fun, anyone listening will get brought along for the ride whether they planned to or not.”

And if the band’s new album is anything, it is fun.

The debut single, “Can We Rock?” and its corresponding music video will be released November 5th, 2021. A second single, “Kuchi Sabishii”, will follow on December 17.

Carkey Malarkey will be released by Tingle Finger Records to streaming platforms everywhere on January 21, 2022 and is currently available for pre-order. The band will tour if it ever gets around to it.

credits

released January 21, 2022

Cark is:

GUITAR & VOCALS - Josh Gross
DRUMS & OTHER - Dustin Wasserman

All Songs written by Cark, except for album intro “Hymn for Motherfuckers” by CARK (Germany)

Recorded by Cark at:
Storage Closet Studios - Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan
Burt Reynolds Memorial Studio III - Oregon, USA

Produced, mixed and mastered by Cark

www.tinglefinger.com/cark
www.youtube.com/channel/UCrJ__s-SMV_RoxLjZuTouQg

Special thanks: AWOWO “MINI JUN” Compact Electronic Drum Kit

© 2021/2022 CARK. Under Exclusive license from Tingle Finger Recordings. All rights reserved. Made in Japan/USA.

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Tingle Finger Recordings 東京都, Japan

Tingle Finger Recordings is an independent online record label founded by interstellar rock frontiersman, Dustin Wasserman.

Originating in Southern Oregon (USA), as a chronicler of obscure and forgotten rock music of the late 1990s, the label and its members look to continue spreading the Tingle, by delivering sounds of fun and excitement to listeners in various places.
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